There are so many opportunities to “feel” isolated. Notice I say, “feel.” One of those times is when there is illness. During recovery, you can become despondent, disheartened, and defeated. These emotions are real, especially if any complications show up or if there is limited support during your recovery. Loneliness and limited emotional support can lead to stress, mental distress, and depression. Support is not only crucial for health issues, but also for those experiencing grief due to loss. Statistics indicate that there are significant benefits for both a person’s mental and physical well-being. The National Institutes of Health shares that “reduced frequency of meeting friends and relatives is associated with reduced odds of accessing general medical services.” Recently, I had foot surgery that required NO driving for four weeks. I’m in my final days as I write this article.
For those who know me, I’m often attending events, traveling to browse stores, and being outside for a festival—especially during the summer. There were challenges in my movement at home, challenges in missing events, and challenges in not being able to drive. I filled my day with reading and managing my business. I watched sermons on YouTube and binge-watched shows and movies on streaming networks. Music was always streaming on my phone or Google Nest. However, that was not enough. I missed the social interaction, attending church services in person, serving in the nursery, and “Ubering” my aging mother. Solace was my experience during the first two weeks. Meals were prepared or delivered by friends and family. I was transported to postoperative appointments. Phone calls were received regularly. FaceTime and Zoom were used to connect.
Eventually, th re was a reduction in there was a reduction in the number of conversations and contacts. That’s when the three “d’s” referenced in the first paragraph showed up. Then depression went into full mode. I knew it was happening when I was reluctant to get out of bed or even answer my phone. All these negative emotions showed up once I was over halfway through my recovery. I recognized that I had to act, not to have a negative spiral and end up in an abyss. I made calls and asked for specific needs (and a few wants): change the battery in the beeping smoke detector, transport the transport to my stylist, ride to a conference, almond milk needs, laundry basket taken to the first floor and brought back to my bedroom, and craving strawberries. This list is random and just a peek into the action I decided to take. Recognizing your needs is the first step to getting help. I had a heart-to-heart with a family member and shared the two days of depression. The breakthrough came when I cried a guttural cry and prayed/talked with God.
This lasted for several minutes. This experience has caused serious reflection and insight. I share these very specific nuggets we should consider when aware of another’s need for support during health or personal loss.
- Be intentional in recognizing the needs of others. Never assume. Ask.
- Pray with them; send a text or emoji; record a prayer if you’re unsure of the best time to call.
- Respect a person’s boundaries; however, do not close out people who sincerely attempt to help/support you.
- Have your go-to scriptures in your heart and mind. Proverbs 3:5-7 is one of many for me.
- Understand that we all need others; no man or woman is an island
