Dear Deaconess Debra,
I am writing to you in a last-ditch effort to assist me. I am the First Lady at a medium-sized church. Many of the parishioners admire and look up to me in my role. As a retired teacher, I receive an excellent retirement pension. In addition, my husband’s salary as pastor contributes a substantial amount of funds to our household. I have an open schedule throughout the workweek and spend most of my time visiting church members. I also direct our praise dance ministry. As a group, we often get together after rehearsal to fellowship with one another, and sometimes we go out to eat.
A few months ago, after practice, the group decided to do something different, and we went to the local casino! I had never gambled before this experience. I had so much fun and won $1000 that night! Since then, I have been going to the casino two-three times per week. On average, I spend about $500 per trip. Sometimes, I win a lot of money. Other times I leave empty-handed.
However, church members are becoming concerned because I don’t devote as much time with them as I used to. I have also missed several rehearsals due to my new casino schedule. No one knows about my special trips, not even my husband. However, he’s going to become suspicious soon because several of our household bills are now behind. I had planned to only temporarily borrow the bill money to gamble to replace the money with any winnings. Now I don’t know what to do and am feeling overwhelmed by the entire situation. Can you please guide me in the right direction?
Signed,
Gambling Greta
Dearest Greta,
I applaud you for reaching out to me and recognizing that your situation requires intervention. It appears that your life as a retired person and the parishioner visits has you longing for some excitement in your life. So often, when we are bored with the day in and day out of everyday life, new activities have the potential to create a spark. Going to the casino has done that for you. Gambling triggers the brain’s reward system linked primarily to the pleasure and motivation centers and releases dopamine into the body. This makes the gambler feel elated while they’re putting it on the line and taking risks. However, there are also obvious consequences to gambling. These include the weight of secrecy and the financial toll you are presently experiencing. In addition, the exhilaration or rush that you feel when winning will create the opposite negative response when you lose. In addition, Proverbs 13:11 states
that “Wealth gotten by vanity shall be diminished: but he that gathereth by labor shall increase.” To put it in simpler terms, “quick money doesn’t last long.” I would encourage you to talk to your husband and tell him that you are struggling with a gambling addiction. Share with him the financial status of the bills and that you need help. As the head of your church’s flock, I am optimistic that he will guide you. Also, expectedly, he will be both hurt and angry. Allow him this feeling without deflecting and shifting blame from yourself. Remember that there is no problem too big for God to resolve. You will get through this! 1 Corinthians 10:13 No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it. Blessings in your pending recovery!
Deaconess Debra
